Live by these words, And all will Be well
- Latest Posts First -
Posted JAN.30.2003 Retirement
     The best way to put money away for the future is to go out and buy cigarettes and smoke them, then you won't have to worry about it.

~ David Goecke

Posted DEC.02.2002 The Universe - some information to help you live in it.
1  AREA: Infinite.

The Hitchhikers's Guide to the Galaxy offers this definition of the word "Infinite."
Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, real "wow, that's big," time. Infinity is just so big that, by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here.

2  IMPORTS: None.

It is impossible to import things into an ininite area, there being no outside to import things in from.

3  EXPORTS: None.

See Imports.

4  POPULATION: None.

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

5  MONETARY UNITS: None.

In fact there are three freely convertible currencies in the Galaxy, but none of them count. The Altairian Dollar has recently collapsed, the Flainian Pobble Bead is only exchangeable for other Flainian Pobble Beads, and the Triganic Pu has it's own very special problems. Its exchange rate of eight Ningis to one Pu is simple enough, but since a Ningi is a triangular rubber coin six thousand eight hundred miles along each side, no one has ever collected enough to own one Pu. Ningis are not negotiable currency, because the Galactibanks refuse to deal in fiddling small change. From this basic premise it is very simple to prove that the Galactibanks are also the product of a deranged imagination.

6  ART: None.

The function of art is to hold the mirror up to nature, and there simply isn't a mirror big enough - see point one.

7  SEX: None.

Well, in fact there is an awful lot of this, largely because of the total lack of money, trade, banks, art or anything else that might keep all the nonexistent people of the Universe occupied.
    However, it is not worth embarking on a long discussion of it now because it really is terribly complicated. For further information see
Guide Chapters seven, nine, ten, eleven, fourteen, sixteen, seventeen, nineteen, twenty-one to eighty-four inclusive, and in fact most of the rest of the Guide.

~ Douglas Adams
Posted DEC.01.2002 Learn Bistromathics, Solve number problems
     "Bistromathics itself is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding the behavior of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that space was not an absolute but depended on the observer's movement in space, and that time was not an absolute, but depended on the observer's movement in time, so it is now realized that numbers are not absolute, but depend on the observer's movement in restaurants."

~ Douglas Adams

Posted DEC.01.2002 The Guide.. A Guide.. and Guides
     Take the information and the statements not for what they are, but for what they could be... and for what they are. Yes there will be contradicting and sometimes absurd statements. And sometimes the possibilities are not possible but what fun would impossibility be with out possibly impossiblity. If anyone could decipher the undecipherable they would, but they can't, so they won't. Just accept this and BELIEVE.

This page and all of it's content belongs to the owner

Copyright © 2003